Oh, my aching... areas.
With 20 radiation treatments down and 5 to go, I am really trying to stay upbeat and positive. I mean - I'm almost there. A week from today will be my first day of being DONE with part one of this treatment. That's pretty awesome. But it's hard, at certain moments, to stay positive. I can't help thinking how much easier this would be if I'd managed to get cancer in a less humiliating area...
Somehow, when the doctor told me that the side effects of this radiation would be mostly localized, the fact that everything "down there" would be in misery didn't really penetrate. Somehow, it never occurred to me that I would have to take a shower after pooping, because the simple act of wiping my poor, fried butt would just be too painful to bear. Or that just walking down the stairs would bring a tear to my eye because my "legpits" would be filled with blisters. Or that I would be in possession of so many ointments and salves and goos to smear on various parts of my undercarriage. It's humiliating and horrid and it REALLY makes me appreciate how friggin' awesome the human body is when everything is working properly. I have apparently been taking that shit (no pun intended) for granted for years.
It's difficult. It's painful. It's embarrassing. And it's more than half over. I can do this. I can do this. I can do this.
Somehow, when the doctor told me that the side effects of this radiation would be mostly localized, the fact that everything "down there" would be in misery didn't really penetrate. Somehow, it never occurred to me that I would have to take a shower after pooping, because the simple act of wiping my poor, fried butt would just be too painful to bear. Or that just walking down the stairs would bring a tear to my eye because my "legpits" would be filled with blisters. Or that I would be in possession of so many ointments and salves and goos to smear on various parts of my undercarriage. It's humiliating and horrid and it REALLY makes me appreciate how friggin' awesome the human body is when everything is working properly. I have apparently been taking that shit (no pun intended) for granted for years.
It's difficult. It's painful. It's embarrassing. And it's more than half over. I can do this. I can do this. I can do this.
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