50/50

By phoebe marie -
So, I just watched the movie 50/50.  After reading Scott's blog post in which he talked about watching it at the 2012 Stupid Cancer Summit, I kinda felt like I had to...

I remember seeing the trailer last year, but I was definitely not prepared to see the movie until, well, until now.  Watching it, I definitely see that despite my openness and willingness to share everything I was going through... I still honestly spent the majority of my time (both while sick prior to diagnosis and during treatment after diagnosis) being as detached as possible from what was happening to me, mentally/emotionally speaking.

Maybe that's why really believing the GOOD news has been so hard.  I never felt like it was real or like it was happening to me.  And now it's over and I am so completely changed, and yet... I'm not sure how that happened because I have no idea WHAT happened.

I have hardly looked back over my old posts as time has gone on through this.  Maybe I should...

Anyhow.  50/50 was a good movie.  I enjoyed it (although I do hate trite love-interest sub-plots).  I watched it with hardly a tear, even though so much of it was so familiar.  I didn't find it difficult to sit through like I feared I might.  And I have no idea what this means...

Am I still too detached?  Or has it just not been long enough yet?  I don't know...

Xxo, Phoebe

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