6 Month Round Up
Can you believe it?
My last treatment was SIX MONTH AGO TODAY!!! I am finding this hard to wrap my head around. In both directions, honestly. On the one hand, I feel like I JUST walked out of the Radiation Oncology office at the Cleveland Clinic Main Campus, still a little dopey from the drugs, with knitting dad's beautiful scarf freshly wrapped around my neck. And on the other hand, it feels like a lifetime ago. Or even like it wasn't my life at all. Six months.
Ten days from now is my 6 month appointment. I get to have an exam and pap test, but NO PET scan needed! Woot! I keep wondering when I get the official "remission" handed to me. In my mind, for some reason, it is at 6 months... but I may just be making that up. I can't remember. Foggy brain.
And speaking of that... it's been a minute since I've done a real lingering-side-effects report, so here is one:
Menopause symptoms seem to be MOSTLY under control with the help of the two pills I take for that every morning. I am a little extra sensitive to heat, though, and do still have the occasional brutal hot flash.
Neuropathy in my hands and feet continues. Some days are worse than others and the hands are DEFINITELY worse than the feet. It is always the worst in my hands in the morning and the worst in my feet at night. No idea why this is.
The radiation induced suntan surrounding my crotch and bum has almost completely faded. I can still tell where the color changes, but only because I know where it is from seeing it look nearly black for months. And while I am no longer bald up front, I DO have some strange bald patches that do not seem to show any signs of ever filling back in. That fine hair that used to live in the asscrack though? I'm pretty sure that is gone for good. Which makes swamp-ass a much more unpleasant and much more common occurance. Who knew that stuff was so useful?
I still have to get up to pee at least once a night - sometimes as many as three times, depending how much water I am remembering to drink. But my constant diarrhea seems to have buggered off and I have gone back to being more "regular" in that department.
The dilator is still my least favorite thing I have to deal with. While Ryan and I HAVE managed to introduce actual sex back into our lives, we still don't quite have it in us to "do it" as much as recommended, and I learned the hard way last time that that means I still need to use the dilator on the no-action days or we are in for a bloodbath... literally. Yucko.
And the brain fog. It is still there, but either I'm getting used to feeling dumber, or it is lifting a bit. I still forget words I know several times a day, which I hate. I still forget things people tell me, especially at work when I am trying to concentrate on several things at once.
My weight loss seems to have plateaued. I did get a little lax on my workout routine after our trip to Vegas, but the last few days I have been making a big effort to get back into it and am feeling the effects already. I am also doing a LOT of reading about dietary changes that I think we are going to try to make, but that I am NOT jumping into without reading everything I can first. When Ryan returns from Europe in August, we decided we are going to give the no-grain lifestyle a try. I've already cut out a LOT of my grain intake, but I still have a mad weakness for a fluffy hamburger bun, a gluten-free pancake, or a cookie.
And honestly... I think that's about it. I feel, otherwise, normal. Actually - better than normal, since "normal" for me was so unhealthy for so long. Amazing how what seems like a really negative chapter in your life can turn out to be, in whatever abstract way, the best thing that ever happened to you. Cancer sucks. It was a pain in the ass. A terrifying ride.
But it opened my eyes. And it changed my life. And it's made me grateful every single day for every little thing that happens.
Love love love,
Phoebe
My last treatment was SIX MONTH AGO TODAY!!! I am finding this hard to wrap my head around. In both directions, honestly. On the one hand, I feel like I JUST walked out of the Radiation Oncology office at the Cleveland Clinic Main Campus, still a little dopey from the drugs, with knitting dad's beautiful scarf freshly wrapped around my neck. And on the other hand, it feels like a lifetime ago. Or even like it wasn't my life at all. Six months.
Ten days from now is my 6 month appointment. I get to have an exam and pap test, but NO PET scan needed! Woot! I keep wondering when I get the official "remission" handed to me. In my mind, for some reason, it is at 6 months... but I may just be making that up. I can't remember. Foggy brain.
And speaking of that... it's been a minute since I've done a real lingering-side-effects report, so here is one:
Menopause symptoms seem to be MOSTLY under control with the help of the two pills I take for that every morning. I am a little extra sensitive to heat, though, and do still have the occasional brutal hot flash.
Neuropathy in my hands and feet continues. Some days are worse than others and the hands are DEFINITELY worse than the feet. It is always the worst in my hands in the morning and the worst in my feet at night. No idea why this is.
The radiation induced suntan surrounding my crotch and bum has almost completely faded. I can still tell where the color changes, but only because I know where it is from seeing it look nearly black for months. And while I am no longer bald up front, I DO have some strange bald patches that do not seem to show any signs of ever filling back in. That fine hair that used to live in the asscrack though? I'm pretty sure that is gone for good. Which makes swamp-ass a much more unpleasant and much more common occurance. Who knew that stuff was so useful?
I still have to get up to pee at least once a night - sometimes as many as three times, depending how much water I am remembering to drink. But my constant diarrhea seems to have buggered off and I have gone back to being more "regular" in that department.
The dilator is still my least favorite thing I have to deal with. While Ryan and I HAVE managed to introduce actual sex back into our lives, we still don't quite have it in us to "do it" as much as recommended, and I learned the hard way last time that that means I still need to use the dilator on the no-action days or we are in for a bloodbath... literally. Yucko.
And the brain fog. It is still there, but either I'm getting used to feeling dumber, or it is lifting a bit. I still forget words I know several times a day, which I hate. I still forget things people tell me, especially at work when I am trying to concentrate on several things at once.
My weight loss seems to have plateaued. I did get a little lax on my workout routine after our trip to Vegas, but the last few days I have been making a big effort to get back into it and am feeling the effects already. I am also doing a LOT of reading about dietary changes that I think we are going to try to make, but that I am NOT jumping into without reading everything I can first. When Ryan returns from Europe in August, we decided we are going to give the no-grain lifestyle a try. I've already cut out a LOT of my grain intake, but I still have a mad weakness for a fluffy hamburger bun, a gluten-free pancake, or a cookie.
And honestly... I think that's about it. I feel, otherwise, normal. Actually - better than normal, since "normal" for me was so unhealthy for so long. Amazing how what seems like a really negative chapter in your life can turn out to be, in whatever abstract way, the best thing that ever happened to you. Cancer sucks. It was a pain in the ass. A terrifying ride.
But it opened my eyes. And it changed my life. And it's made me grateful every single day for every little thing that happens.
Love love love,
Phoebe
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