Let There Be Light. And Lightness of Heart.

The party. The somewhat dreaded Cancerversary Party. After all my worrying, stressing and Misery Guts nonsense - it turned out better than I could have possibly have hoped. When I arrived home, Ryan explained to me that he had threatened the janky old generator with a very large hammer. With a tremendous amount of hope that the horrible thing took his threats seriously, I arranged a huge spread of healthy treats on our giant Viking dining room table and waited to see who'd show up. A completely random cross section of our friends ended up attending. New friends. Old friends. Friends who didn't know each other at all. Friends who knew one another better than they knew Ryan or me. Friends, overall, who were happy to be able to share in my bizarre celebration. (And friends who brought enough whiskey, wine and beer to keep us drunk for weeks!) I'd be full of crap if I didn't say that I ended up pretty loaded myself last night. But it was fun and after the week, let alone the year, that Ryan and I had... We needed it. I want to thank everyone who came out, everyone who wanted to come out, who attended in spirit or toasted us from afar. And I especially want to thank everyone who did their best to convince me not to give up after a week of no power and very little sleep. The party was perfect and exactly what both Ryan and I needed. We also needed power. The generator made it through the party without a single hiccup (so thankful) but when we got up this morning... We were still without power. Ryan basically told me that we were going to have to cancel our overnight trip to Mohican State Park Lodge because the generator was just too sketchy to leave alone and even if it didn't intermittently die, it didn't have a big enough gas tank to run for an entire day... And we have fish. Big ones. In an elaborate tank setup. We've been trying to get rid of them literally for years, but to no avail. And while we would be happier without them, they are beautiful creatures and leaving them alone overnight with no power would basically be the same as killing them. Killing a gorgeous 13+ year old Jack Dempsey the size of my foot just wasn't part of the plan. I accepted that we'd have to cancel the trip and we went out to jump in the car and hit Dunkin Donuts for our traditional Saturday breakfast. As we walked down our front steps, an electric company dude was literally swearing under his breath as he tromped down our street. He asked us a couple things and then said he'd have us back on within two hours. ELATED doesn't even begin to cover it. We were so happy. The trip was back on! We grabbed breakfast, came home and packed, and were having dinner at the Mohican's hotel bar by sunset. Now I'm awkwardly blogging on the iPad in a hotel room again. It's like being back in Italy. Well... Italy with less wine. I feel like I'm less eloquent when I try to blog from the iPad or my phone. I've had a million very "me" thoughts about stuff I wanted to say about this weekend and I have no idea what they were as I try to write on this thing. But when we get home tomorrow, things should be back to the normal I know now. Power back. Pre-Sandy flood dealt with. Biopsy results in and good. Back to "normal". Back to better blog content about more positive things. I have so much to be grateful for. I have an incredible family. Amazing friends. The love of my life. And my LIFE. And above all... I now have the ability to recognize that those few things are all I have ever needed and more than I could have ever hoped for. They are things most people might not have. And things that most who DO might take for granted. I used to. Never again. I love you all, Phoebe