Three years ago today was a Wednesday. I didn't work on Wednesdays that year. The weather was similar to today's weather - not quite as unseasonably warm as today, but warm enough for an early December day to be raining rather than snowing. Ryan and I got up, probably got breakfast at George's Kitchen or Dunkin' Donuts or something, and then headed downtown to procure some very special paperwork. I don't really remember how we spent the rest of the afternoon. What I do remember was putting on my favorite Ramones t-shirt and a headband I made that matched the oxblood Doc Marten's Ryan had bought me in the UK and driving down to our old favorite bar together in the rain. Ryan had on a Joe Strummer t-shirt, a thrift store sport coat, and matching oxblood Docs. We really didn't look like we were dressed any differently than we would have been on any other night at the bar.
Inside we met up with a few friends. We quietly went over to the corner of the place. Ryan convinced the crappy 80's night DJ to play a few songs by The Replacements. And then, my darling Lacey, REVEREND Lacey... married us. Right there. In the Happy Dog bar. With just a handful of people in on the secret.
It was perfect. Beautiful. Simple. And completely "Us". Our friend Doug was playing there later that night, and he dedicated Big Star's "Thirteen" to us, which I love all the more to this day because of that. I have no regrets about the way any of it went down. All I have ever hoped for in my life was to love and be loved by someone amazing and beautiful and brilliant. Someone exactly like Ryan.
In some ways, I got everything I ever wanted that night. But in the three years since, so much more than I ever expected was possible has happened. Ryan's and my relationship has grown and strengthened in ways we never knew existed. A lot of that is not just in spite of but BECAUSE of my cancer. We learned to care for each other more, to take better care of ourselves for each other, and we became more committed to living as long as possible so we can stay married to each other as long as possible.
I hate that he's away today. I want to be together to celebrate...
Happy Anniversary, my love. So glad to be married to you.
Xxo, Phoebe
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| I like it when Ryan ACTUALLY smiles. |
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| Love. |
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| Still the most amazing kiss ever. |
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| Reverend Lacey filling out the paperwork and drinking an ENORMOUS beer. |
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| LOVE. |
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| My the (good) old Happy Dog sign. |
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