Positively Phoebe

After posting about my struggles with my health and my concerns about what to do and where to turn when I feel lost or scared, I received such an incredible outpouring of love, understanding, empathy, kindness (and even a little pointed silliness intended to make me laugh... thanks, Lacey). The responses I got made a few things abundantly clear. First and foremost, that I am NOT alone. That despite feeling like my problems are too complex, interwoven and bizarro, people with health issues nothing like my own feel the same. Second, that I am loved and supported by SO MANY amazing people. People I've met during all the different stages of my life and who are still, thanks to the positive parts of social media and social networking, a part of my life today. And third, that maybe I shouldn't have stopped writing. That maybe I still need it. That it helps me. Helps me sort out the craziness bouncing around inside my brain. While having a conversation with one friend this morning abo

There is really nothing about being an AGING young adult cancer survivor that doesn't 100% suck. And it's not even something I can get across to anyone I know to ask for advice, because it's all such a strange combination of things that are impossible to understand for someone that hasn't been here... I now exist in this world of limbo between being stoked to be 5 years out and just having the opportunity to still be ALIVE, and the exhausting, never-ending series of fears that something else could be wrong. As I get older, this only gets harder. I'm almost 42 and on top of the regular stuff that starts to break down in our bodies at this age, I've also been through a lot more shit that's messed me up beyond just the regular decline of a non-athletic, semi-chubby, moderately-healthy-eater in their early 40s. I feel like almost DAILY, I find myself asking the question: Is that pain just general aging biz, or is it more sinister? Which is then follo